Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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