Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
please don't ironically join a cult
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