Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
