you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize