I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
