More tranny stories later!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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