The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
