True but thats because hes a fetus.
im holly from the hills drunk
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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