I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
