remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
