Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
