I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
