The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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