We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i dont even know how to be here
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
