eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
