Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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