recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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