I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
