Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
