listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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