i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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