She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
