Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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