i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Fuck appropriateness.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
