the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
