No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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