I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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