I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
