Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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