He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
