Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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