Your face is a jimmy john
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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