So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
