honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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