Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Is it because I queefed?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize