btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
