therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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