I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
