Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
