I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
