He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize