Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize