big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
