My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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