Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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