dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
