Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
