So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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