God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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