bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
