This dress was meant to end up on your floor
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
