You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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