had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize