I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
its not stalking. its research.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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