I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
