Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
